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On the new Alien/Predator/Prometheus franchise

HERE is great write-up about the new mega-franchise coming our way, and one I’m really excited about — the Alien/Predator/Prometheus franchise. I love the idea of them trying to Marvel Universe-ify these stories and I’m fascinated by how it will turn out. Could we really see three big budget sci-fi horror series produce regular entries with occasional cross-overs and team-ups (or whatever the equivalent would be)? My mind boggles. But it sounds so cool! I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, though. For instance: “They’ll all be rated PG-13”! Please be good, please be good.

I love the Alien franchise quite a lot, or at least the first two, and I’m very fond of “Predator”. I kind of love “Prometheus”, with some caveats — I wish the main character was better-realized, for example. That said, there were two terrific characters in that movie that I’m thankful to have in my head: David and Charlize Theron’s character (I forget her name). Both actors were on fire in that movie and their characters were amazing (whether I can remember their names or not). I can’t wait to see David in P2.

There are a lot of ways these new movies could go bad, though. For example, allowing Alien 3 and 4 to be canon. As far as I’m concerned, they shouldn’t exist in the new universe. They were bad, and they killed off all the characters, or turned them into half-mad clones. “Predators” introduced some mythology that may not jive with the tone of the original movie, and perhaps it should be excised from canon. Predator 2 obviously establishes the link between the two franchises, Alien and Predator, although not perfect it’s a fun movie and can stay, as far as I’m concerned.

Anyway, this whole idea sounds like a blast, and I can’t wait to dive back into this universe . . . provided that shoe stays right where it is.

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My words of advice to a fellow geek disillusioned with Star Wars . . .

. . . because of bullying he received as a youth:

 

I say give the original trilogy another shot. You may be surprised by just how good it is. I went through something similar when I was a teenager, not because I was picked on by others for my love of SW (I was picked on for entirely different reasons) but because I associated it with my childhood and childishness in general. I lumped it in with GI Joe and Transformers. I was an adult now, by the gods. On to adult stuff!

Well, in my early twenties I wondered. Was the Star Wars that I loved and was so infatuated with as a kid really kid-stuff . . . or was it good? Was it something to be cherished as an adult, too?

So, breathless with anticipation and nervousness, I put the video into the (yes) VCR and watched the first movie . . . and then the second . . . and the third . . . and by the end of it I was overjoyed. Star Wars wasn’t just good. It was great. My childhood was redeemed, and I’ve loved Star War unabashedly ever since.

The prequels didn’t help. The prequels took some of the air out. As did the Special Editions. But fuck it, I’ve got my fan restorations of the OT, and they rock.

Star Wars rocks.

And hopefully Star Wars rock on this December.

 

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Behold! The corrected map of the world of THE ATOMIC SEA!

When I first received the map, there were many errors on it and I had to send it back. This was just days before the initial release of “The Atomic Sea: Part One”. I finally got it back the day before release only to see it still had many errors — over twenty! Yikes!

There was no way to get the changes made before release, so I launched the first novel with the uncorrected map, and then my mapmaker and I both seemed to forget about making the changes. I finally remembered and nudged him, and now I have the final, true map in all its glory. Behold in awe.

Most of the changes won’t matter to readers until they get later in the series, but when you do you’ll be glad to see that Xlatleb is actually on the same continent as Xlaca. Since Xlatleb is the capital of Xlaca, the original version of the map would have had you very confused! 🙂

The world of the Atomic Sea.

The world of the Atomic Sea.

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What if the Arkenstone was something different than we were told?

I love the novel version of “The Hobbit” as the charming, fast-paced adventure for children that it is, and I like large portions of the movie trilogy, but I really feel that the last movie dropped the ball, failing to tie the many plot threads together in a satisfying way. I’m actually planning on creating a fan edit of the movies to trim the fat and make them better (once I figure out how).

One of the oddest choices Peter Jackson and Co. made in Film Three was to claim that the treasure hoard was now cursed by Smaug having lain on it all these years. Yes yes, I know that’s perfectly Tolkienian, and I’m fine with that . . . were it not for the fact that in Film One we were told that it was the greed of Thorin’s grandfather Thror, the King under the Mountain, that tainted the hoard and drew Smaug. So the hoard is now twice-cursed. Which is just silly and nonsensical and poor storytelling.

But what if the two “taints” were related? Well, I’ve got a new (fan) theory (that is totally not canon) that attempts to resolve this problem. You see, what if the Arkenstone was in fact the heart of a fell dragon that had died deep in the mountain many years ago? That is what the dwarves found, and it was the evil of that ancient worm that poisoned Thror’s mind and thus the hoard, and ultimately drew Smaug in?

Then Smaug’s evil just deepened and strengthened that corruption, in particular the corruption of the Arkenstone, the heart of the ancient fell dragon, making it all the more difficult for Thorin to overcome? To me this resolves the “twice-cursed hoard” problem, making the Hobbit movies richer and more interesting and the storytelling that much better.

What do you think?

 

 

 

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Changing the structure of the Atomic Sea series.

Amazon, oh Amazon. You give, then you take away.

Sigh. Amazon has instituted another one of their infamous algorithm changes, stripping away almost all of the bumps they were giving indie writers. They had helped promote indie writers in numerous ways, but now no longer. Why? Are they trying to weed out the chaff? I don’t know. The upshot is that essentially the only way Amazon is allowing indie writers to be visible these days is through the Hot New Releases section. If you publish a book and sell/give away enough copies, they’ll promote you up for up to thirty days since the release in that category (because after thirty days it’s not “new”). Writers are now calling this the 30-day Cliff. In the case of “The Atomic Sea: Part One”, that means they promoted it for two weeks. Why? Because I allowed two weeks to gather reviews before I scheduled the free promotion, so I only had two weeks left in that 30 days for Amazon to give me a boost. I sold very few copies before the promo, so Amazon didn’t give me a hand until I had.

What does this mean? It means that after those two glorious weeks “The Atomic Sea” dropped off the radar of Amazon almost entirely. Readers who had read Part One went on to buy Part Two (of course!), but since I released Part Two at the same time as Part One and did no additional promotion for it Amazon didn’t give me a boost for Part Two. So out of two massive epic fantasy / science fiction novels that I’m very proud of, Amazon only helped me sell one of them for two weeks. Two. weeks.

So I’m going to do this. Amazon seems to be forcing indie writers like myself to write in a serial format as in the old Charles Dickens days, releasing a chapter or two a month for loyal readers. I think this is pretty lame, and I don’t want to issue “The Atomic Sea” chapter by chapter. But if I don’t split it up I’m virtually committing business suicide. No one can find my books unless they’re new releases. So what do I do?

I’m going to split the difference. I’m dividing “The Atomic Sea: Part One” into two volumes, replacing what was “Part Two” with the second half of what was “Part One”. These are still hefty tomes, even divided, each at over 60,000 words, so I don’t feel too guilty about this. The volume that was Part Two is/was even more massive, reaching 155,000 words. So that’s going to be split up into thirds. I’ll release them a month or so apart, so that hopefully Amazon will give me a bump for each one.

And so on.

Ideally this way will satisfy my artistic self (refusing to release the novels a few chapters at a time and providing an entire novel (50,000 words or more is considered novel-length, and sometimes as low as 20,000) to readers while at the same time allowing Amazon to promote my new releases. I hope I don’t annoy too many readers out there who have already read the original versions of Part One and Part Two, and if so I  apologize sincerely. This was not my intention or design but only a response to Amazon making it very hard out there for indie writers. Know that you can still purchase the paperback versions of both full-length original versions, so if you want a copy for your bookshelves or to give as a gift they are available (or in the case of Part Two if you simply want to read it, as it will now be divided into three parts, the first of which will be released toward the end of February). Of course eventually I’ll provide omnibus versions that will contain the ebooks in their original (and preferred) forms.

I hope Amazon changes things up soon, as this is a lousy way of treating their writers. Perhaps they think that readers want a serial, monthly experience, where they follow a few chapters of a story over a long period of time. I don’t know. Is it? It’s not the way I prefer to read (and it’s not what I’m going to provide my readers; again, even the shorter versions of my books are novel-length manuscripts). More likely it’s simply that Amazon has determined they can make more money this way. The only good thing I can say about this is that I can keep Part One at a permanent discount now and not feel that I’m shooting myself in the foot by doing so. I love The Atomic Sea and want new readers to discover it. So go, put all this unpleasantness behind you (I’m trying, too) and dive into an adventure like no other.

 

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The Hobbit: Part Three: Battle of the Five Armies

SPOILERS BELOW!

Okay, so my initial reaction to the final Peter Jackson Middle-Earth movie wasn’t as positive as I was expecting. I actually quite liked a lot of the second Hobbit movie — Smaug, for example, was excellent — and I was fully expecting PJ to nail the landing with Part Three. I thought he’d be able to pull all the threads together and deliver a satisfying finish, just as he did with Return of the King ten years ago. Sure, he doesn’t have the wealth of material to draw on that he did back then — The Hobbit is no Lord of the Rings, of course (and it’s not supposed to be). But surely he would have some plan for Part Three, right? Some way to pull it all together?

Sadly, no. “Battle of the Five Armies” is the least of the three Hobbit movies. It feels bloated and poorly constructed. Massive monsters (the rock-boring worms) are introduced in one scene, then never heard from again. Whole fleets of giant bats are introduced, take Legolas for one short CGI flight, then vanish utterly. The Battle itself becomes a mess of lousy CGI and weak characterization. We learn that Smaug’s hoard is cursed with dragon-sickness, which is strange, as it was the curse on the hoard (and on the mind of the hoarder) that supposedly drew Smaug in the first place. So that means the hoard gets cursed twice, which just seems like poor storytelling.

In short, I was utterly disappointed with “Battle of the Five Armies”. I’m a massive “Lord of the Rings” fan and have watched those movies more times than I can count. In addition, I’m also a Tolkien nerd and have read every single word he’s ever written multiple times, including “The Silmarillion” and “The Lost Tales” (both of which I utterly love).

I think Peter Jackson has done an amazing job with Middle-Earth, and I was fully expecting that to continue with the Hobbit movies. And he had an entire decade (!!!) to work on the script. My mind reels at how he and his partners could have botched it so terribly. Part of the fault, of course, lies in the source material. J. R. R. Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” is a charming, briskly-paced children’s fantasy, not an epic saga a la “Lord of the Rings”, and if translated to the screen it should have been one movie, two at the absolute most. When stretched out into three long movies, it becomes bloated and hollow, even with the extra material involving the Necromancer filling it out. Then add all the crappy CGI, odd story decisions (a dwarf-elf romance “could” work, maybe, but not like this) and general excess (Legolas surfing on spiders, leaping from dwarf head to dwarf head) and you get a hot mess. If the orcs had been achieved practically, I could enjoy these movies a lot more, but the dodgy CGI through which they were achieved saps my enjoyment a great deal.

Okay, back to “Battle of the Five Armies”, specifically. Bilbo has one big heroic contribution to the novel’s central conflict, slaying the dragon. He’s the one that spots the missing scale and relays the information to Bard, who utilizes it to kill Smaug. In the movie this never happens. Although the moment is set up in Part Two, when indeed Bilbo sees the missing scale, he’s never able to do anything with the information in Part Three. Bard independently sees the missing scale and kills Smaug (in a very anti-climactic fight, by the way). So what was the point of Bilbo seeing the missing scale in the first place? It surely wasn’t to set up the idea that indeed the scale was missing, as that’s achieved during the flashback in Part Two. So that whole story thread went nowhere and robbed Bilbo of his greatest glory.

Which brings me to the Arkenstone. If Bilbo helping to slay Smaug is to be denied him, then surely he can be an effective hero elsewhere, right? Maybe he can steal the Arkenstone and stop the battle between the good guys.

Nope. He steals the stone, alright, but the battle goes on as planned, or begins to, anyway, before the arrival of the CGI orcs, after which Bilbo does very little. He’s giving a brief mission to do at one point and accomplishes it, but for little story gain. He essentially does nothing to warrant his status as main character throughout the entire final movie, which is a shame as he was fairly effective in Part Two, rescuing the dwarves repeatedly and infiltrating Smaug’s lair, etc. But any hobbity heroism is thrown out the window in Part Three for lame CGI battles.

And they are lame. I could forgive this movie a lot if the battles — er, Battle — kicked ass. But it doesn’t. It goes on and on, and on some more, but it’s never a tenth as involving as the Battle of Pelennor Fields. Hell, it’s played for laughs! Afrid, the weasel-faced sidekick to the Master, has one comic misadventure after another while at the same time tension is supposed to be mounting up. I kind of enjoy Alfrid, broad as he is, but his antics undermine what should be the most gripping part of the whole narrative.

Sigh. I’m running out of steam here. I think I’m going to leave off of the rant for the moment, leaving the possibility open to return to it at some future time. I can’t even summon the passion for “The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies” to properly lambast it.

I will, however, pick up the Extended Edition the first day it comes out, and I’ll eagerly watch it, hoping beyond hope that somehow, some way, Peter Jackson is able to fix his last foray into Middle-Earth in that version, if not in this.

If nothing else, hopefully someone will make a great fan edit out of these movies.

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